Smile spread across her face, she'll be happy; just for today.

I leave in less than an hour, and I'm excited beyond all reason and belief. I have that feeling of butterflies in my stomach, and a fully-packed case by my side. This weekend is going to be incredible, I can feel it.

The only things I am taking with me are clothes, my sketchbook and my mobile phone.

Everything else is staying behind.

You could have everything, and still come back for more.

There's always something to complain about.

I'm exhausted.

School's stressful.

He just won't leave.

I miss him.

I'm not happy.

Why can't I stop crying?


I lead a pretty comfortable life, I have it simple in comparison to others. I know I'm fortunate, but I still can't stop complaining.
I only just realised how ungrateful I can sound, sometimes.

Turn Out the Light.

Angel, darling; where are you?
Through the mist, confusion and haze,
I cannot see you.

Immerge, beautiful angel; bring back the light.
I can wash away this depression to see your reflection,
Desperate to be with you.

Well fuck them, and fuck you too.

Have you ever sat in a room full of your friends, and wondered why you'd even bothered?

I sat there, not saying a word, just listening to them. With each word, I could feel myself getting more and more irritated. It seems, the more attention I pay, the less likely it is that I hear something worthwhile. Right at that moment, I couldn't stand any one of them; surely that just isn't normal?

It might be my bad mood, lack of hyperactivity or complete soberity. It might be a harsh realisation, or it could be the result of me living with a stick up my arse. I fell asleep before midnight, sick to death of it all. Voices cut right through me, and I'd already muttered one harsh word too many. In the morning, I left straight away. I barely said goodbye, just willing to get home. After a somewhat forced and uncomfortable car journey home, that was it.

I returned straight to my room. Parentals can stay the fuck away, because I don't want to hear it this time. Lousy excuses, you must be blind not to see. I've showered twice already today, but I can't wash away this feeling of discontent.

Show me some new people, new surroundings and a breath of fresh air; I beg you.

Ps- This time next week, do you think I could manage a smile?

Fail now, try again later.

I lack the ability to apply motivation (aka. I'm a lazy arsehole).
I kid myself that it doesn't matter;




I'll be kicking myself later.

I'm okay, trust me.

I find I don't things quite so seriously anymore,
For some nit-picky, overly obsessive fifteen year old girl,
That doesn't sound like such a bad thing;
Except, at least I was feeling something.
Now? I'm numb, confused at best.
I've usually overwhelmed, either with happiness or sadness.
I don't do things by halves, that's for sure.
I'm not all that sure I like feeling 'okay'.

Now or Never.

Fragile beauty;
Defeated and broken.
She speaks, softly and clearly,
Help me angel, for I have fallen.

Cling on to her;
Don't you dare let her go.
With helpless tears she's crying,
She doesn't know what she's crying for.

A crooked smile;
Unconventional beauty.
She collects herself and walks on,
Head held high, an act of bravery.